I’m thinking what I’ve lost in objective hotness I’ve gained in common sense and the ability to reason.  (I’m using the term “objective hotness” so my husband doesn’t try to reassure me that I’m still hot to him or at least lovable by bringing me home a box of chocolates that I will no scarf down, gain pounds I don’t need and thus become in my opinion actually less hot, although not in any way less lovable.)
My girlfriend Ronni and I popped into Steve Madden–end of summer sale, how can you not, blah de blah. Among the flats I eventually bought were these high-concept, architectural marvels, some four inches high, with fringes and patent leather patchees and cut-outs in the upper (think open-toe-and-heel boots, like a monokini for your feet) that I think I might have tried on some 15 years ago, in my 20s.
Photo by: THOR, CC LicensedÂÂ
Ronni was having none of it. She thought most of them were laughable, and if you think of them as shoes, she was correct. But if you think of them as little statuettes for your feet–kind of like wearing an Emmy or an Oscar–they were kind of awesome. I would be proud to have one on my mantle, if I had a mantle. And at one time I would have been proud (albeit sorry) to have had them on my feet.
When I went to pay for my flats ($23 down from $149!), I was telling Ronni how I can’t wear any heels anymore, and if I do, wedges are best. The saleswoman (maybe 25) was shocked. “I don’t know if shoes have gotten more uncomfortable or if my pain tolerance has gone down but I’m done done done with heels,” I said.
“It has to happen sometime,” she responded politely.
“Yes, well, it happened sooner than I thought.” She smiled blankly, in that way people who believe they will always be hot (and able to wear heels) will do when looking their future in the (finely lined) face.
I’m going now to download Die Young Stay Pretty on my Ipod. Great song, although not great advice.
September 4, 2008 at 1:23 pm
you rock! I guess I can look forward to having all of our life’s experiences well-documented & well-written, I might add, on your handy dandy blog board or whatever this cool, high-tech thing is called 🙂 And now I will go put my ugly, comfy Ecco walking sandals back on.
September 6, 2008 at 7:12 am
Ha! I took last Thursday off to hit the Jimmy Choo sale at Woodbury Commons. I scored three pairs of killer heels (which I still, at 44) insist on wearing. The next day? I threw out my back and busted up my knee lugging stuff out of the basement, and I’ve been hobbling around on flats all week. Not to be daunted, I ordered a great Rodney Yee yoga DVD, which I’m going to start using (just as soon as the pain subsides) to get my “core” into shape so I can wear my heels for at least another decade or two.
September 9, 2008 at 9:32 pm
Clearly, you need to listen to Steve Martin’s “The Cruel Shoes.” I could recite it for you, but I’ll just give you the opening.
“Well, that’s it,” Carlo said. “That’s every pair of shoes in the place. Unless. You want to try……. The Cruel Shoes.”
Listen here.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=feTrJSWnqdk
September 10, 2008 at 12:13 pm
Oh please, when I am shoe shopping, I think will my orthotics fit in those?