Arm combat

Arms are for hugging, not for killing, and for that purpose mine work perfectly.

But I’m wondering what evolutionary purpose those bat wings that have begun to droop down from my otherwise toned upper arms serve? They look like the underside of a pelican’s beak, which the pelican uses for storing and transporting prey. If I could carry, say, my gym shoes in the pooches under my arms, like two built-in Coach hobo-style bags, maybe that would be helpful. But as now they’re just useless pockets of flesh.

I tried to figure out what exercises I might do to tone them, but when I flexed every muscle in my arm, it was clear that that area has no muscles.

My friend Ronni had a great idea: custom matched, skin-color adhesive tape that simply folds the flesh in onto itself. Ronni came by her upper arms honestly, via her mother, via her Grandma Fritzie. When she’s angry at her 5-year-old  daughter, she tells her if she doesn’t behave, she will inherit the arms. Ok, she’s not that mean, but I’m going to try that on my girls.

Below, Ronni’s arm demonstrating this principle.
Before:  After: