Arms are for hugging, not for killing, and for that purpose mine work perfectly.
But I’m wondering what evolutionary purpose those bat wings that have begun to droop down from my otherwise toned upper arms serve? They look like the underside of a pelican’s beak, which the pelican uses for storing and transporting prey. If I could carry, say, my gym shoes in the pooches under my arms, like two built-in Coach hobo-style bags, maybe that would be helpful. But as now they’re just useless pockets of flesh.
I tried to figure out what exercises I might do to tone them, but when I flexed every muscle in my arm, it was clear that that area has no muscles.
My friend Ronni had a great idea: custom matched, skin-color adhesive tape that simply folds the flesh in onto itself. Ronni came by her upper arms honestly, via her mother, via her Grandma Fritzie. When she’s angry at her 5-year-old Ã‚Â daughter, she tells her if she doesn’t behave, she will inherit the arms. Ok, she’s not that mean, but I’m going to try that on my girls.
Below, Ronni’s arm demonstrating this principle.
Before: Â After: Â
September 5, 2008 at 8:08 pm
Who needs arms of steel when you can have arms of veal?
September 6, 2008 at 1:24 pm
How about a full body flesh-toned stocking? Preferably one that’s 3-5 sizes too small and comes up your chin. Get on it Ronni! Your fans are waiting.
September 8, 2008 at 7:46 pm
Arms of veal, pork shoulder, meatballs, ice cream, and cheesecake, Sal
September 8, 2008 at 7:48 pm
shut up, Philly. when you run, your behind looks like two pigs wrestling in a sack.
September 8, 2008 at 7:57 pm
people say I’m creepy, but if I saw two pigs wrestling in a sack, I’d slaughter them and gut them on the hood of my Tundra. And it would be God’s will.
September 8, 2008 at 8:08 pm
the previous three comments are all my husband. because I’m not getting enough posts and I was sad. Boo.
September 8, 2008 at 8:31 pm
I’m surprised Spanx hasn;t come out with an undergarment to suck in batwings. Muffin tops and donut knees have already been covered – I smell a marketing opportunity! PS nice biff biceps, Ronni!
December 13, 2008 at 6:28 pm
Most women in Hollywood wear spanx for special occasions. They cover all sorts of bulges from panty seams, bra seams, etc. Not a big deal, IMO. I also used to know a young guy that was friends with the Cyrus family…it seems like once you