There’s a period of time in a woman’s life in which she’s no longer objectively hot (definition: some people, mostly those who already love you, as well as guys who sit on milk crates outside bodegas drinking 40s, still think you’re hot, but your average frat boy or wealthy capitalist in search of arm candy looks right through you) yet she is fading fast from the social landscape, at least in terms of her sexual currency.
That’s where I am. Not that I want to command the actual attention of frat boys or rich guys with leather skin and melanomas on their foreheads, but the idea that I couldn’t it if I did is occasionally unsettling.
A few years ago, a male stranger on the subway asked me for the time, and get this—he really simply wanted to know if the big hand was on the 12, not to get his hands on me! Since then, I’ve been asked for directions, whether a book was good, and for spare change, all entirely without ulterior motive.
It is actually quite pleasant to have simple, non-sexually-charged interaction with men. Definitely a relief on some level. If it stayed this way, that would be fine. But I’m wondering if soon I won’t even be asked for the time. When that happens, I’ll really know what time it is.
Image courtesy of www.themanwhofellasleep.com (he has such cool stuff on there!)
October 19, 2008 at 3:33 pm
Oh yeah…had these thoughts recently too. I used to be annoyed when men whistled/looked/asked me stuff. Then I laughed when a group of highschool boys pushed each other out of the way as I was coming out of a nail salon, and tried to be the first to say Hi to me. Seriously. I had just given birth to my now 2 yr old. But it felt good. And then a little illegal. Coz you know…they were underage.
Now? The other day at the local pumpkin farm, a guy asked me if I liked the plastic wagon I was pulling my kids around in. I went onto raptures over it. And then after he moved on, one of my friends’ husbands who had been watching the encounter, said that he thought the guy was trying to hit on me. And I had completely missed it.
So yeah…I guess I’m getting old. But still slightly attractive. But fading fast. At least in my own mind.