The tween site for adults

Month September 2008

Formerly considered healthy

Image not currently available margarine.

Formerly seedy

Image not currently available Now, I’m not one of those people who claims to miss the old Times Square, with the sorry hookers and scary pimps and drug addicts loitering in every doorway. The closest I ever came to getting… Continue Reading →

Formerly a West Coast gal, and all that implied

KEEPING MY 415 CELL NUMBER WROTE: Formerly drank water from disposable plastic bottles. Now I appear smarter with my mint green nalgene bottle, but it keeps leaking all over my bag.

Formerly single

PETE WROTE: Great stuff! I wish I’d used “Sha-LOAMMME” as a pickup line when I was formerly single!

5-year-olds don't lie

OK, they do, but it’s usually like, “I didn’t break that,” or “I’ve got a giraffe in my house,” and not when they’re commenting about your appearance. I drop my girls off at school this morning. It was a terrible,… Continue Reading →

Formerly did not look pregnant

FROM CHRISTINA: Yesterday my older daughter told me twice that i look pregnant even though i don’t have a baby in my tummy. the first time was in the super shop and stop when i was at the dunkin’ donuts

Oh, how the mighty have fallen

Uppity is a nasty word, if only because it’s usually followed by an even more hateful word. One shouldn’t refer to presidential candidates or, really, anyone as such. Still, what I wouldn’t give to be able to describe my breasts… Continue Reading →

I'm melting! I'm melting!

There was a time when I would wake up, twist my hair up with a pencil, pee and go, looking pretty if not polished. Now it takes makeup to make me have that not-wearing-makeup-but-still-human look. Without makeup? A cross between… Continue Reading →

this is a test

this is a test, this stuff needs to work every time.

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