The tween site for adults

Month January 2009

No, I AM Lady Miss Kier

Sometimes, a flash of insight that passes in a millimoment can sum up a complex state of being better than a graduate thesis on the subject that took a decade of angst and begging for grant money and living on… Continue Reading →

The envelope, please…

In this respect, at least, I’m like Paula Abdul on Idol. I think everyone showed tremendous talent and gave it their enthusiastic all, which is why everyone who entered the SIGNS YOU’RE A FORMERLY contest is a winner. Yay, you!… Continue Reading →

NEW! Formerly Hot feature and CONTEST

Hi, folks, Formerlies usually know that they’re Formerlies and understand this blog right away. But occasionally someone will ask, “Steph, just how do you know if you’re a Formerly?”

New uses for old breasts

AMY WROTE: Not being robustly endowed, [my breasts] didn’t attract a lot of attention, but were, you know, appreciated. Now, the only people who are interested in them are the mammogram women. You know, the cute, perky, super happy blond radiologist who sweetly and cutely smooshes my boob down till it’s thinner than a good diner pancake. And says, “Oh, we have dense breasts, don’t we? We’ll have to do three images. Of each.” Yes, that’s right. Six smooshings. Six pancake pictures.

Formerly YOUNG

NATALIE WROTE: As I looked around the room of mostly young women chatting with each other I automatically considered myself to be similar to them..until it occurred to me that my 3-and-a-half year old daughter is closer in age to them than I am!! Oh the humanity! The horror!.. The resignation..

Formerly a vegetable steamer

I used to work at a magazine, Real Simple, that has a feature called New Uses for Old Things. It was my favorite section, even though there was no way on God’s increasingly less green Earth that I’d ever try… Continue Reading →

KISS my childbearing hips, hipsters!

Someone very funny once noted that the further you get from a major urban center, the more likely merchants and service providers are to replace Cs with Ks in their businesses’ names in hopes of standing out and luring customers…. Continue Reading →

Blogging while intoxicated

I’m up in Whitefield, New Hampshire, for my old friend Jen’s 40th. There are four of us, between us we have ten children, and we have had a lot to drink. We met a lovely Bulgarian waiter, Todor, who wisely… Continue Reading →

Rule of thumb

A colleague of mine replied to an email I sent her on her Treo, because, she wrote, her computer was down. “My thumbs can’t take much more,” she added. I wrote back that she needn’t worry, because according to my… Continue Reading →

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