My positively stunning friend Judith was just told by a dermatologist that she was “the perfect candidate for Botox.” I don’t yet have the full story, so I don’t know if the remark was solicited or simply offered as helpful “medical” advice, but knowing Judith, it was the latter.
The perfect candidate? Don’t you love how they make it sound like it’s a privilege to get to inject botulism toxin into your face? I’m the perfect candidate! Oh, yay! How can I convince you, Mr. Cosmetic Dermatologist, to deign to allow me pay you hundreds of dollars so you can stick a needle between my eyes and paralyze my facial muscles? Honey, did you hear I’m a candidate? I’m so glad I’m a candidate!
I know that some people see Botox as a boon, and are grateful its out there as an option. That’s fine–I’ve done electrolysis in places you don’t even want to know about, so I’m the last person to judge anyone for how much pain or expense they’re willing to go through to feel that they look prettier.
I also get that the word candidate used in this context means that the patient is likely to have a good outcome with the procedure.
But I just can’t stand the bullshit marketing that’s meant to make Botox sound like something only a privileged few are fortunate enough to be allowed to do. Candidate my ass (no, that’s not where I had electrolysis)! You’re a candidate for the presidency. You’re a candidate for a competitive fellowship. You’re even a candidate for a medical trial, if you meet all the criteria.
You’re not a candidate for Botox, even if some people might have better results than others. You’re a potential customer, just like you are for a new car or a carpet steamer or a lug nut. The idea that anyone would make it seem like an elite opportunity to de-pleat your face makes me annoyed. In case you couldn’t tell.
Do they have Botox for grumpiness?
June 17, 2009 at 10:33 pm
Yes, but. I agree with most of the sentiments here, but as a lay person talking out his candidate ass, it does seem like (1) injection of anything, including Botox, by a physician (oh wait, wasn’t there a Seinfeld about how a dermatologist isn’t a doctor? No I guess that was a podiatrist) is a medical procedure; and (2) the use of “candidate” has an accepted and legitimate meaning in the medical field. My next door neighbor told me last night that he needed a new knee but was not a “candidate” because he was too old.
I too am curious about the whole story (though I too sometimes enjoy speculating and philosophizing based on incomplete information). If it conformed to the standard usage, whatever that is, then I’m more bothered by the fact that he suggested Botox at all seems like the most egregious part, not the use of the word “candidate.”
Though I guess what you mean is that he used legit medical jargon to sell a service and implicitly invoked offensive cultural norms. That is, you’re not saying one can’t be a candidate for Botox, just that using the lingo to sell is extra offensive. “A beer scientifically formulated to stimulate your taste buds optimally.” I agree.
Sorry it took me so long to catch up to you. Last year, I was in a therapy group, and it took them months to get that, where they thought things through then talked, I talked for a while until I understood what I thought about something. Annoying, perhaps, but here I am.
June 22, 2009 at 4:02 pm
I think I need that Botox for grumpiness. I think I learned of your site through your bio in a magazine… of course, I didn’t write down which one. That should probably be my formerly – formerly a person with a memory. LOL… Anyway, I love your site. I’m glad I stopped by.