Oh, God. I’m not sure if this is a sign of age or clarity about what is truly important or a sign that my blood sugar was way too low (or all three), but I got into it today with a canvasser for Greenpeace. She couldn’t have been more than 21, and the old me would not have bothered, but the new me, which is to say, the Formerly me, just couldn’t let it go.
So I’m rushing down 14th Street this evening to go pick up my daughters and this young woman with a clipboard angles over to me. I shook my head no as I passed her, to indicate I didn’t have time to stop.
“Oh, so you don’t care about saving the planet. OK,” she said.
I wanted to smack her–ok, yes, I am prone to violent fantasies when my blood sugar is too low–but instead just rolled my eyes and kept walking. About 30 feet past where she was standing, however, I realized I couldn’t contain my ire. I circled back.
“Excuse me, but you should know that what you said is really obnoxious. You don’t know me, you don’t know where I’m going, you don’t know what groups I belong to or what my priorities are,” I said (not for nothing, shifting my nylon shopping bag over to my other shoulder). “You’re going to turn people off to your cause by saying things like that.”
She protested that she asked me if I cared about saving the environment and I shook my head no, so she said, “OK, you don’t care about saving the environment.” She was simply innocently reflecting my own sentiments back at me.
I said that I was saying no to stopping to chat with her, and that she knew that full well. “I used to canvass for an environmental group”–I managed not to add “when I was your age,” thank you very much–“and I know how discouraging it can be, but you shouldn’t assume you know why. I’m going to pick up my children. I care about them, too.”
She tried to argue but I brushed her off and continued down the street, fuming.
I felt angry. I felt righteous. And then I felt like a crazy lady.
Why did I even bother? She was a twit and I’d likely never see her again, and there I was explaining myself to her. I didn’t like that she was a poor ambassador for Greenpeace, which does terrific work, but that wasn’t really it.
There was simply something about her smug, 21-year-old face that made me want to give her what for, which I am aware is an old person’s expression.
They say you really start to feel that you’re getting older when your parents become creaky or infirm. I think it’s when you feel that you have something to teach snot-nosed NYU students with too much eyeliner who are exactly as likely to give a shit what you say as for there to be a free public option in the health care reform bill that actually passes.
I had a snack and felt better. But no less old.
Photo by Wesley Fryer CC
September 17, 2009 at 9:05 pm
I loved this post! I have had similar encounters and walked away infuriated only to become frustrated later that I didn’t tell the person how obnoxious they were being. I admire you ability to articulate on the spot, even with low blood sugar.
September 18, 2009 at 8:19 am
Thank you for thsi post! I thought I was the only one…… I’ve had so many similar situations. It seems like ever since I hit 40, I have zero tolerance for crap. And yes, a few years ago, the old me wouldn’t have bothered.
September 18, 2009 at 8:43 am
I always use the justification that they may not get the lesson now, but if they hear it enough, it will sink and they will learn. In her case, she needs to learn to not be obnoxious so as to stop giving the movement a bad name. Well done.
Yes, I have come to embrace the fact that I’m going to be one of those cranky old folks who talk back to young’uns with phrases like “In my day….” Ok, maybe that means I am already an old folk.
September 18, 2009 at 10:33 am
You are me! I am you! I have had this encounter in my head SO many times. Working at NYU and living in Park Slope (which must be tied for sheer density of canvassers) has given me many opportunities to reflect on this very strange kind of interaction/relationship.
Canvassing has always been tough, but I think non-profits have to rethink it as both a fundraising and education strategy. I’ve actually written to Greenpeace after having a conversation with an earnest young canvasser whose ultimate goal was my credit card number–no cash donations, no petitiion signature, only a credit card pledge would do. It really turned me off. So, I’m becoming the old lady who goes home fuming and then writes indignant letters to organizations.
September 18, 2009 at 8:15 pm
Love it! This illustrates the BEAUTY of getting older. I love being old enough to turn around and speak my mind to someone who’s out of line and not give a shit how the person reacts. For some reason, with age comes permission to live closer to the truth. You no longer have to worry about how you’re perceived because the truth is simply the truth.
I try to teach my daughter and my young friends to “think old” and live closer to the truth like I do. It’s liberating! Unfortunately, young people aren’t always granted this liberty. And that’s where the beauty of getting older lies.
September 18, 2009 at 9:16 pm
This is only my second time reading your post and I’m a great fan already! (thanks Marlene for passing me along) I agree with you whole heartedly. Of course my favourite was the person who tried to convince me that we needed to save Michigan’s lakes… by bottling Canadian water (C: (unfortunately she didn’t know I’m Canadian) I look forward to following your post and trying to catch up on some of the back posting too! Thanks so much (C:
September 19, 2009 at 6:15 pm
I’d have wanted to smack her too.
And I may have been tempted to give a snarky reply like, “Actually, nope, the planet isn’t on the top of my list today, thanks.” I mean it’s not TRUE of course. I love the planet. But I imagine it would have rendered her speechless long enough for me to get away.
September 20, 2009 at 3:41 pm
This is so funny. I can relate. They always tackle me when I go into Trader Joe’s. I feel like yelling, “Do you people have any idea what I do for a living? I save people! I am justified for not stopping!” But I never do and just end up trying to squeak by them without them noticing me.
September 20, 2009 at 5:48 pm
You lived my fantasy….. You are both funny and righteous. As for impending cronedom, I am looking forward to the day that I can walk down the street waving my cane, yelling “Make way, make way for an old woman!” My great aunt Ruth actually did this on airplanes.
September 21, 2009 at 7:11 pm
Passion for a cause …. I am sure all human beings are committed to something that is near and dear to their hearts. However, what has happened to the human cause; the passion and respect for other people that should be taught in the early years of childhood. I simply do not get the “entitlement” of persons these days. I am sure many of you read the newspapers, and there is no shortage of rude and inconsiderate individuals that think they can say and do whatever they wish. It is time that all of us take a step back and remember what our parents told us, and that is to treat people the way you would like to be treated. Maybe that should be on the college entrance exam. And I’m glad you told the little @#$%& off!