My husband and I had a little gathering today, and I introduced one guy, my roommate when I was in my 20s, as one of my oldest friends. “I’ve known him for around 20 years,” I said. And then I thought about it: I am so old now that someone I’ve known for literally 20 years is not one of my oldest friends. I have friends that I’ve known for 30 years, even one for 37 years! You have to be goddamn old to have friends that you’ve had for 37 years.
Granted, I’ve lived within the same 5-mile radius, except for college, practically my entire life. I have friends with whom I made mudpies, had sleepovers, saw Shaun Cassidy live at the Nassau Coliseum, rationalized poor choices in partners and then eventually grew up to meet for dinner at swank, overpriced restaurants that are in the neighborhoods our moms would not allow us to visit back when they were dangerous.
Still, it was just one of those Formerly moments–Formerly Young, not Formerly Hot–that gave me pause. But, you know, whatever. Younger people don’t get to have friends they’ve known for decades, friends who can remind them how far they’ve come from the days of making poor choices in partners and seeing Shaun Cassidy at the Nassau Coliseum. Longer in the tooth though I am these days, I got the long end of the stick this time.
Photo: A bunch of us in the early ’90s
October 18, 2009 at 12:07 am
I applaud long time friends. I have a group of 5 friends that I used to work with – some in the 70’s. We formally became a group after we all left the busniess one by one and formed LARC. (Life After Red Cross) I worked there for 10 years. LARC is now 25 years old, so add the 2 together and some of these woman have been in my life 35 years. We are the lucky ones. You are too.
October 21, 2009 at 6:32 am
First of all, I am jealous that you got to see Shaun Cassidy LIVE. My friend Lisa (whom I’ve been friends with since we were 13) would have DIED to see him in person! I find it a privledge to have friends that knew me when I was scared in my teens, making wrong choices in my twenties and finding confidence as I age. At a bonfire Saturday night, I sat around a huge fire with my daughters and my ‘old’ friends and their kids too. Our kids are friends now too…a new generation of friendship coming from the older generation that worked hard to maintain it. Yes, we all have laugh lines and baby belly poochie tummies, but we have history. And I’m proud to call them all friends of 30+ years.