My lovely marketing maven friend Lucinda sent this to me and it made me figuratively pee in my pants laughing, it was so spot-on.

What is up with yogurt, female Formerlies, and what the ad world apparently thinks women (of any age) have on their little calcium-fortified minds? It reminded me a bit of the whole I-want-to-have-sex-with-my-cat advertising phenom I wrote about a while back.

Look, nothing wrong with yogurt. It’s a fine snack food or even the basis for a healthy breakfast, provided you get the low-sugar Greek kind and goose it up with various anti-oxident-packed berries and nuts. Why, there are several flavors of yogurt sitting in my fridge right now. I’m sure you can say the same thing.

But as food goes, it’s kind of…soft and mushy and not that satisfying, which appears to be how the yogurt media thinks women’s lives and interactions are. You take a spoonful of yogurt and it, like, slithers down your throat without requiring any action on your part, and doesn’t do much to alleviate any real hunger, physical or emotional.

In fact, I find yogurt to be a bit of a distraction from the actual eating I need to do to get through my hectic Formerly days. I need some kind of protein, and something to chew. To me, yogurt is one of those “foods,” like those fluffy, supersweet meringue drops that they market as cookies,  that is sent our way to placate and even dupe women (it’s not yogurt, it’s Boston Cream Pie!) into feeling like they are living rich and fulfilling life, when really they’re having their primary meals out of plastic cups.

Yeah, overthinking as usual. I’m having sushi for lunch.