Lots of news, not a lot of time to write, but this I had to share: Luke, the amazing, amazingly patient man who built this site for me, hooked me up with Google Analytics so that I could get a better sense of where all you readers find Formerly Hot  (that would be the five or six who I didn’t go to high school with).
The tool has all kinds of nifty data, such as which sites people come over here from, how long they stay on the blog, how many pages they click on and how many of them are new visitors. All of this information is helpful to Lucinda, the lovely woman who is helping me market my soonish-to-be-released book.
Google Analytics also says which key words people search with and then wind up here. Guess what the number one key search words are? No, really, guess!
OK, I’ll tell you: “mature ass”. That’s right, type “mature ass” into Google, as apparently many readers did, and you may well wind up right where you are now. That is, after you wade through asspoint.com, sexymaturemovies.com and quite a few others.
I used that term once here, in a title of a post from a reader. Lord knows no one gets to see my mature ass here and only rarely anywhere else (just ask my poor husband). People who came to Formerly Hot hoping to see anyone’s ass, mature or otherwise, leave sorely disappointed. Which may be why those who searched under “mature ass” and found themselves at Formerly Hot stayed an average of 00.02 seconds.
I love Google Analytics.
March 31, 2010 at 1:02 pm
Made my day! Those people looking for mature asses must have ultra-high-speed internet connection ability in order to high-tail it out of there so fast!
March 31, 2010 at 3:41 pm
The funniest search term that led someone to my blog was “vibrator giveaway.” I used the phrase in a critique of Parenting magazine. Happy ending (so to speak): I gained a follower who found me through that search!
March 31, 2010 at 6:43 pm
Lol!!! This is hilarious! Just in case you’re curious, I found out about your blog while reading an article on blogs out of my SELF magazine. 🙂
March 31, 2010 at 10:07 pm
I’ve been lured here under false pretenses. Screw this.
April 1, 2010 at 8:48 am
Your poor husband and my poor husband can commiserate.
April 7, 2010 at 11:17 pm
We really like Google Analytics, too, and we install it on all of the websites we put up for our clients. Our company builds websites for politicians (Democrats and independents) and we find that Google Analytics helps the candidates and campaign managers who are our clients learn more about how people have heard about them. We want to encourage anyone wise enough to be Formerly Hot to consider running for political office — and asking us at Aristede.com to build your website!
April 9, 2010 at 9:45 pm
I found your site from Parenting mag.. “5 Skills Every Kid Needs” Normally I don’t even read who an article is written by, but it caught my attention. An instant connection was formed just by your websites name. *smile*