The tween site for adults

Month April 2010

Some days, not so much

GINGER WROTE: Formerly, old ladies smiled at me, old men winked at me, children wanted to hold my hand, men my age flirted with me, younger men stared at me.  Bag boys were eager to bag, customer service reps were… Continue Reading →

Animal magnetism

SHAWNA WROTE: Last week I was trying to be hot. I made sure to put on a sexy, black bra instead of the normal beige. But later that night, when my husband unhooked my bra the mood was killed when an animal cracker fell out and hit him on the foot. The worst part is that my daughter was eating those crackers six hours earlier!

Formerly Hot's Greatest Hits

I have been mocked relentlessly over the years for the fact that 90 percent of my CDs are greatest hits, best-ofs, the “essential collections” and a few soundtracks. It used to make me a little defensive when I was in… Continue Reading →

No, I am not kidding you

This made me laugh so hard I couldn’t not share it. My friend Janine–who is, like this singer Kate Miller-Heidke, a serious bad-ass–sent it to me. It speaks to the unique position of people our age who went around dating… Continue Reading →

Girls gone mild

All I can say is that they didn’t have “nipple petals” when I was at an age where I could even consider going braless. Or if they did, I didn’t know about them. I’m talking about those little adhesive flower-shaped… Continue Reading →

Long teeth, short temper, still smiling

After twenty years of what I thought was simply fantastic luck with my dental health (something that, like my Formerly massively thick hair and dewey, elastic skin, I took for granted as my happy genetic birthright forever more) my mouth… Continue Reading →

She who laughs first

My first cognizance of Jenny McCarthy was back in 1997, when folks were all atwitter (in their low-tech, pre-Twitter way) about those Candie’s shoes ads she did, which featured her smiling up from her perch on the toilet. Call me… Continue Reading →

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