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MARTHA WROTE: I went through a formerly stage in my 30’s.  It had more to do with finding life did not end up the way I planned and being bogged down with responsibility.  I still have my formerly days but now that I am 40 I’m finding people are surprised at my age, I flaunt it. I still get hit on, more people want to hear what I have to say, I’m more sure of myself, my kids love me but think I’m weird (I’m ok with that) and my friends think I’m cool. I’m kinda glad life did not turn out the way I planned it, I would have found my version too structured and predictable.  The experience of the last 40 years has created a better version of my “formerly” self! And sometimes I can still work those ridiculous heels but now I wear them for me, not anybody else.