Ever since I posted this little video, in which I posited that if there were a such thing as an ass bra, I would wear one, several of you have sent me links to actual ass bras.
I was a bit horrified, although not really surprised. If they have Spanx for one’s bingo arms, why wouldn’t there be an actual ass bra?
Now that I see them, though, there’s no way I’m strapping one on. This one looks like a harness that you’d use for belaying down the side of a rock face, and this one, well, there are no words. It looks like it would create bizarre pantylines without solving any droop problems. In other words, the cure is worse than the disease, insofar as a Formerly butt is a disease, which I don’t think it is. It’s not exactly therapeutic, but disease is overstating it a touch.
I think I’ll just go back to my old tactic of ignoring my butt altogether–luckily, it’s pretty hard to see unless I crane my neck around–and concentrate on looking fore instead of aft.