How’d that happen so fast? p1000097

I had to (pay my very brilliant tech guy to) move Formerly Hot over to a new server, which is good news–the old server couldn’t support the gazillions of visitors the site has been getting. But in the process I think I lost a few user submissions. So if you sent your Formerly/Finally story within the last month and you don’t see it here, please resend, if it’s not too much trouble. My apologies.

This week’s is from my friend Kristin, who you may recognize from the yet-to-go-viral author video for the hopefully-soon-to-be-bestselling book (see? optimistically putting it out there in the universe and visualizing it snapping back at me!).

When Kristin and I first met five or so years ago, her older daughter and my girls were in preschool together. We’d race to drop off, peel clinging kiddies off our legs (praying that they didn’t leave sticky jam hand prints on our work clothes), console one another that they’d surely stop crying 30 seconds after we left, and hop on the train or a cab to get to work on time, applying makeup in transit so as not to look like shit once we got there. Kristin was a high-octane litigator.

Now she works part-time as a lawyer for an art museum here in NYC–what she always wanted to do–and so has time to take a yoga class, take a break, and take it as it comes just a bit more. Not everyone has that option, of course, for financial or other reasons, and not everyone wants to scale back. I did, right around the same time as Kristin, and though I work just as much, it’s easier because it’s on my own schedule.

The FINALLY to this one, I think, is that as a Formerly, you have the wisdom to redefine success in a way that suits you, not just the suits. In college or grad school and certainly not in law school, you’re presented with one path to success–gunning for partner. But Kristin, and many other Formerlies, including me, have found a way to re-envision success to include a bit more balance and happiness.

No, not always, and not every day, and sometimes it sucks not to have a business card to hand over to someone that affirms the entirety of your public identity. But it sure is nice to know you have the choice. So, FORMERLY A WORKAHOLIC, FINALLY A LIFEAHOLIC? Oy. How about, FINALLY ABLE TO BREATHE.