If you haven’t read my friend Maura’s blog for Marie Claire, My Year of Living Flirtatiously, you should. Lots of fun mixed with lots to think about–can’t beat that. Check out the favor she did me for My Formerly Hot Life…out in 12 days and counting!! The below is from Marieclaire.com.
5 Ways to Feel Hot at Any Age
When I was 28 or so, I was out with a lady friend who was about 10 years older. A huge knockout with an adoring husband, she bears a striking resemblance to Mariel Hemingway. Nonetheless, that night, after she walked into the little French place in Chelsea where I was waiting for her, she sighed and said: “You get past a certain age and men just stop looking up when you walk into a restaurant. They stop whistling. They stop ogling you. And you miss it.”
I thought she was talking crazy — she was, is, and will always be gorgeous!
And then a couple of years passed. And I started to get what she meant. Youth can turn a man’s head like nothing else can. And though I’ve never been a serious beauty like my friend, men did just sort of glance over my way whenever I came into view, once upon a time. In recent years? Not so much. And I notice it myself: Young women have a certain potent natural beauty, thanks to their lovely skin and shiny hair and all the rest. READ THE REST OF THE PIECE HERE!
August 6, 2010 at 6:30 pm
In my mid-50s, I wonder what men are looking at when they look at me. However, they do look; not the really young ones, but some surprisingly young ones and the even the number of older ones is a surprise. I have had enough young ones say, “I hope my wife looks as hot as you when she is your age.” to know there is something still smoldering.
At my age more clothes are better than less. Mae West aimed for hot and got awful. I think Sophia Loren is almost there, now. I am careful with what I wear and body-skimming clothes beat body-clinging clothes every time. You cannot be comfortable in your clothes if they are embarrassing you. If you are dressing to be hot and don’t know that is an embarrassment to everyone, you are a fool. What you are wearing should never be the point. You should be the point.
When you get to my age, even if men are only looking and wondering, “I wonder how old she actually is?” There is a kind of triumph in that. Or even if they say, “Oh, she’s not bad for her age.” which is closer to the truth of the matter, that’s pleasing, too. Of course, mascara helps with that. Being fit helps, too, except that as you get older a little fat in your face helps, too. Maybe you find your own balance there.
Look around. Any of us older women you see might have been formerly hot. Haven’t you looked at photos of mothers, aunts, grandmothers, considered what they look like now, and then considered how much you will look like them when you are old? You can either settle or, as one somewhat younger friend said, “Let us not go softly into that dark night.”
August 7, 2010 at 1:00 pm
You can’t tell me that Sophia Loren, Lauren Bacall, Marilyn Monroe, Natasha Richardson were “formerly hot”. The auto fix-it shop has Sophia posters young and old hi and low.
I knew I couldn’t compete with the pretty girls in high school so I studied Cosmopolitan and read a lot of history and science. They may have the looks but I have the skills.
I spent my twenties and thirties in exotic and erotic relationships. Then I had my family. Now just in time cougars are in. I live near a university, drive a big truck and many yummy college boys ask for a ride.
Maybe we don’t have to advertise.
August 7, 2010 at 10:46 pm
Do you understand why youth is culturally ingrained as attractive in females? Your ovaries, producing eggs and healthy to reproduce. How special.. You know what else will make men turn heads at you? Big breasts hanging out. So if you want men to look at you longingly- there are some ways. But your self will still not feel recognized, because did it feel all that fulfilling when they did look?
Women have struggled to be seen as more than walking baby making machines. Please, fight your own inner demons to see yourself as more than that sum of male approval.