There’s a word for the condition in which you frequently blank on words but I can’t remember what it is.
My mom, who is going to be 70 in a few weeks, and I were talking about it after I held a Thanksgiving yam in front of her face asking if she wanted me to cut it up and neither of us could make our mouths form the word. For whatever reason, I could remember that it was a tuber, but not a damn yam.
OK, Googling it (forgetting words, condition, help!). The word is aphasia. I’ve had it ever since my kids were born seven-plus years ago, and it’s worse in periods of stress (Thanksgiving was stressful, as usual). The words come back, often in the middle of the night, when I find myself sitting bolt upright shouting “Yam!”
Naturally, every single mom I mention it to attributes it to “mommy brain,” the result of too much running around, too little sleep, and multitasking to the extent that your brain simply can’t conjure the information you need when you need it. But my having kids just happens to have coincided with my crossing into Formerly territory, so maybe it’s a Formerly thing.Either way, Babble has a report on a new study debunking the myth of Mommy Brain–in case you haven’t noticed, you’re smarter–and there was a book a few years back that did the same.
The study, published in the journal Behavioral Neuroscience last month, wasn’t the first time scientists had shown that motherhood gives us a mental boost. In fact, decades of studies on animals and humans have revealed that our neurons reorganize when we have a child, making us more intuitive and wiring us to find our babies — and all the diapering, soothing, and feeding they require — highly rewarding.
Yeah, OK, but how about remembering your children’s names? How about “Sasha, pick up your dirty…um, stuff–NOW! And put them in the…thing! You know what I mean! Stop laughing!” That’s what I think of when I think of mommy brain, the periodic inability to recall words or to remember where you put things, like your offspring.
I write about health, so I know that this could be straight up stress (studies have shown that stress marinates your brain in chemicals until it’s essentially pickled) or it could be age thing (43 is a bit early for cognitive impairment, though) or it could be undercaffeination, as this usually happens in the morning.
But I prefer to blame my children, as generations of mothers have before me. Look, I’m all for science proving that we moms are superior to everyone else, but really, I think Mommy Brain is a real phenom.
What do you think? Is it kids, or just the exhausting life of a Formerly? I’d particularly love to hear from the child-free among you, to see if you have this um…thing…problem, whatever.
December 2, 2010 at 8:40 am
OK so maybe it’s busy brain but kids only make you more busy so Mommy Brain remains. I often have to go to the computer and use the thesaurus to jog my memory and lead me to the words. I have plenty of coffee and exercise and my brain still stalls too often. I have 2 sons, it’s their fault.
December 2, 2010 at 9:40 am
Well am I child free yet occasionally am afflicted with the inability to remember what the large rectangular box in the kitchen that stores food in a chilly atmosphere is called for short. Usually when I am stressed, super tired, or someone is yelling at me.
December 3, 2010 at 5:49 pm
I am child free and only 33 years old , and I experience this condition frequently. However, I am also a graduate student with a full time job, which, similar to having children (my friends with kids tell me) adds all kinds of extra stresses and busyness to life. Definitely not a phenomenon exclusive to mommies though.
December 7, 2010 at 8:49 pm
Ah, Mommy Brain. I didn’t have it for quite a while. I had three kids and could juggle a month’s schedule, the grocery list, all 3 of my kids’ SSNs, birthdates, other assorted info, an ex-husband’s personal info plus criminal record and case numbers to pertinent restraining orders plus my then-current husband’s personal info – all from memory.
Then I got into a car accident. I can remember long term stuff, no problem. Short term memory – not so good. Sometimes, I will suffer bouts of aphasia. Sometimes, I’ll forget what the hell it was I was planning to do. Add a permanent pain condition as a result of the car accident, with accompanying painkillers and occasional surgeries, and yeah, my memory is weird. Especially when working in a high-energy, fast-paced drug-rehab admin position.
I can rattle off all of the phone numbers to every office up on the north slope (oil fields) from a job 6 years ago, but I can’t tell you what my current fax number is, and I’ve had it for two years.
I can write down my grocery list, but good luck on me remembering to bring it.
Luckily, I have all boys, and they are all blond. So, if I mess up on one of their names, I just go down the list until I get to the right one 🙂
December 12, 2010 at 9:42 am
I have no children & also have the condition that you describe. In my case, though, I call it Menopause Memory (which is basically having none —> No long term memory and an even a shorter short term one) See what you have waiting for you in a few years? If I can’t stretch out this Menopause Memory as a reason for my deficiency for any longer than a decade or so, then I intend to blame my lack of memory on YOUR children.
😉
December 25, 2010 at 2:23 pm
Maybe it’s formerly brain, children or no children. I’m a professor on the tenure track, with 50+ grad students per semester. Forgetting words bugs me. I’m supposed to be a wordsmith! But worse is when my normally highly articulate self is saying something and loses the word mid-sentence. The part of my brain that had the idea and felt confident it was ready for speaking is not, apparently, fully connected to either the part of my brain that knows word definitions, nor is my mouth hooked up correctly. So. There you go, testimony from the childfree!