imagesI have this tattoo I got maybe 10 years ago and it got a little smushy looking (it’s on my lower back, so it’s actually not smushy-looking because that body part got smushy-looking, which is always a risk with tattoos) and I went to get it touched up and filled in. I think that may be a Formerly thing–getting tattoos touched up, as opposed to getting tattoos. When you’re a Formerly, it’s all about tattoo maintenance, at least for me. I have no desire to get a new one; I just want the ones I have to not look like my kids grabbed at me with painty hands and I missed a spot in the shower. It hurt every bit as much as I remember, but that’s not the point.

The point is, on the table next to me was this 30something guy with full sleeves, getting an otter (an otter!) etched into the mix of flowers and anchors and what not he had on his forearm. His girlfriend was sitting next to him to keep him company and distract him and they were chatting. There was nobody to distract me so naturally I eavesdropped.

“She writes checks! Like,” and here he slowed his voice down like an old lady and used his free hand to simulate writing with a pen, ” ‘foooorrrty dollars and seventy-five cents,’ like, she writes the whole thing out! And then on the memo line, she writes, ‘groceries!'” Again with the old lady voice. His girlfriend thought that was hysterical.

Encouraged, he continued. “Then she’s all, ‘Wait, I have to write it on the register and deduct the amount from my balance,’ ” he said and looked at her with disbelief. She laughed even harder. “Omigod, like an old person!” she said.

I am not kidding. They weren’t teenagers, either. They were full-on adults, clearly talking about someone who was young enough to know that writing checks, is just, like, cranking up a Victrola to listen to some tunes. Is it just me or are only the elderly writing checks?

Give it to me straight. It’s OK if it is just me you have to tell me that I’m a big old loser and behind the curve on this one. I pay my bills online, but I do write checks, at least a couple a month. I suck at balancing my checkbook and don’t always write things down, but I still think that would be wise. Why is this laughable?

If they’d been kids I’d have dismissed them as ignorant, but he went on to discuss his job and he appeared to be self-supporting. Help me out here. Have checks gone the way of cassette tapes?